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Probably every woman in India has one story about having been subject to lecherous looks as she has walked down the street. The male gaze turns more brazen by several orders of magnitude.Ketki Pradhan, a French teacher in Pondicherry, told me about the time she was holding her German boyfriend’s hand when a group of men started making vulgar gestures.”I found it out of place since he was talking about Akbar having a good time with many women.”Mixed-race couples often have to deal with scepticism about their relationship masquerading as concern about cultural differences.When Aarya decided to tie the knot with Nicholas in 2010, she often got lectured about the sanctity of marriage and how it should be preserved.When I decided to marry a Frenchman, my family’s concern was the normal one that parents have about whether their children have made the right decision; my partner’s nationality played only a minor role.So when a neighbour took it upon herself to tell my mother that I was being an irresponsible daughter by marrying outside my “caste” and moving abroad, it upset me at many levels.
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“One of them grabbed my other hand and held it very tightly for a few seconds, and ran away,” Pradhan recalled.
”I was so angry that I shrieked, and we ran after them. Then seeing that I was not going to go, he apologised.”Another time, a group of men sneered as they passed by the young couple: “? )”My friend Neha Belvalkar’s first visit to India after two years in a film school in the US was “appalling,” in her words.
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Such attitudes towards mixed-race couples are just another expression of the intolerance that won’t countenance Hindu women marrying Muslim men.