Married sex and dating sites
Most women continue to ignore me, some flatly respond no, and several are dubious about my identity. What, exactly, is compelling these married women to set up "sexy dates" in droves, aside from easy Internet access?For years, our collective narrative of the errant housewife has run thusly: Neglected by her aloof or abusive husband and dying a slow death from her suburban prison, she falls into the arms of a dashing, romantic gentleman.Biderman says he is happily married and regards his venture as a release valve for those in sexually unfulfilling, but otherwise effective, unions.
I tell her 33, and she points at me and says, "That’s my perfect age." Later she clasps her hand over mine for a few seconds when I make a joke.To her, the main contrast in the libidos of the genders is not their size but their pickiness."Women want their affairs to have sexual attraction," she opines. Her friends (granted, a self-selecting cohort) are just as randy as she is, though not all seek out external solutions—to their detriment, she believes."Men just want their affairs to have a vagina."For some reason, a professional photographer sets up a tripod and camera at the entrance and walks past us several times. "They’re all unhappy with the amount of sex they’re getting—the ones who are still married," she says. The ones who’ve started playing around are much happier."But what about the guilt? My marriage would be in shambles if I wasn’t playing outside the marriage." Such playing is not without its risks; she’s fallen for men before, she admits, and says heartbreak is part of the game.But whatever is driving women to these infidelity sites, the one notion nearly everyone agrees with is that our understanding of female sexuality is outdated.
As Dan Slater wrote in a op-ed this year, some studies have shown that women report more sexual partners than men, are less selective in certain contexts, and are nearly as likely to accept casual sex from a celebrity or from a close friend they’ve been told is good in the sack.
In myths, novels, and films, from Helen of Troy to Hester Prynne in to Diane Lane in 2002’s_ Unfaithful, _the affair of the rare philandering female is the centerpiece of the story, and its punishments are draconian (the Trojan War, ostracism and branding with an A, being cast in —and gotten away with it. In the real world, with greater professional equality between the genders and third-wave-feminist sexual liberation, are women cheating for the same reason that men have throughout history, as Megan’s profile suggests—that is, to sate their sex drives and gratify their egos? "Megan has picked Coppelia, a Latin American diner at the border of Chelsea and the West Village in Manhattan, and she’s waiting in a booth when I arrive.