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Such impulses lead him to slippery feelings for other men, with shallow judgments and intense desires.
“I feel love with such strong feelings…” All of which sound within normal limits for an active young gay person in a randy and random gay world (real and virtual) with no role models or guiding mature peers.
At no point in our talk did he express any disturbing emotions or trauma from his early sexual encounters.
His major complaint is having to hide his truth and feeling negatively judged by society.
Outgoing and expressive he does not stay alone long.
“I want to study there and find a good job and a boyfriend without it being a secret,” he said with a mix of frustration and hope.
He is from a well to-do family who know he is gay and are accepting of him although it’s mostly dealt with by silence: don’t-ask-don’t-tell. All his friends know he is gay and he has no difficulty finding dates when he’s not putting long hours in at school.
Ari does not know any older gay men, who are hard to find since they are very discrete.
Discovering one’s gay self in Tunisia is an uneven and unclear path especially when living singly without a community or tolerant society.
When he finally told his mother she sent him to a psychiatrist who said he could cure him but only if he really wanted to change. The wide world of LGBT life is available to anyone with a computer.