I get told in couples therapy all the time, “if he/she has to be told that, it doesn’t count”.
My usual response is to very gently ask if they’s like to feel supported, or feel like they are married to a psychic, because you only get one.
When you are both calmly discussing something, the word “but” is fine…..simply the word that marks the shift between validation and your own 2 cents.
If you are in a fight….the word “but”, and everything after it.
We’re able to referee a bit, and help you implement this, and other tools to teach you to fight well, and support each other more effectively.
If that’s the case, seeing a marriage counselor can help.
This does not mean admitting that you are wrong, “rolling over”, or giving up….seeing their point, and verbally saying so.